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Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Republican Anti-Abortion Zealot Wants Somebody To Please Think of the Masturbating Pre-Children
I want to thank Republican Representative Michael Burgess of the great and batshit crazy State of Texas for managing to actually surprise me. Republicans say evil, greedy, ugly, racist, sexist, destructive, idiotic things on a fairly regular basis, but it's been quite a while since one actually successfully surprised me. Burgess' suggestion that he has he has personally witnessed male fetuses with their hands “between their legs” pleasuring themselves at 15 weeks, and that therefore painful abortion procedures should be banned at twenty weeks. of course, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists holds that there is no legitimate scientific information that supports the statement that a fetus experiences pain. A 2011 study in the Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics found no evidence that fetuses feel pain or are viable at 20 weeks, and a 2005 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that fetuses are likely incapable of feeling pain until the third trimester. I suppose that part of the reason the hairball of anti-woman anti-science anti-health invective Burgess coughed up managed to surprise me because of the unexpected spectacle of gestational self-abuse it conjured. I suppose I maintained an outdated fancy that conservatives would hush such a sordid business aside, or if anything threaten the masturbating child with the prospect of abortion -- spare the rod assumes stunning new possibilities -- rather than venerating such antics as sacramental (although I note that masturbating girl fetuses didn't find their way into the Congressman's imaginary fetal orgy pit, perhaps little fetal chastity belts might be the order the day), but it later occured to me that of course the opportunistic celebration of fetal masturbation as justification for the enforced-pregnancy enslavement of adult women citizens need not suggest that Republicans would continue to approve of masturbation or otherwise perfectly normal healthy sexual behavior in actually-born children, any more than their feverishly declared love of the fetus yields in many Republicans the least concern with the hunger pangs of a starving child, the wrenching coughs of a child with a treatable but neglected health condition, the desperation of the hopeless or ill-educated child, or the shattering derangement of pain as a child's body is riddled with bullets from one of the guns these lovers of "life" cherish above all else but the almighty dollar.