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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Funeral Fun Fer All in the Republican Field

How loudly how largely the Republican presidential hopefuls keep dropping out or flaming out day by day.

For the moment, Republican activists and politicos clamor for the quivering warm wonk mucus that is tepid Indiana Governor and failed Bush accountant Mitch Daniels. What is now hilariously characterized as the "adrenaline rush" of Daniels is little more than the vertiginous thrill of deferring, one moment longer, the realization that the quivering warm wonk mucus of tepid former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is the best it's going to get this campaign season for the GOP.

Curiously many Republicans in the aftermath of the Season of Tea apparently mistook for an endorsement of their crazy market-fundamentalist and muscular white-racist baby jesus fundamentalist worldview what was nothing but America's idiotically uncritical kick-all-the-bums-out or just-stay-home mid-term election disgruntlement at the con-job and joblessness of the ongoing Great Recession and now the Base demand of all things a real Movement candidate with a real Message campaign to vindicate their faith and decisively bring down the femislamofascialistic New Deal and the whisperBlack Man/whisper in the White House at long last.

Oh, how they snort and tear the turf in their pining after a fit Messenger now of all times in this consummating moment of their Movement, this last chance to wave back the browning girling secularizing planetizing tide of reality!

But of course, there is no Messenger who can sell the Message because the Message is crap and nobody wants it but a few white racist assholes, patriarchal pricks, and cynical billionaires who think they can roil the white racist patriarchal mob into guarding their treasure pile another generation.

Every new Republican with whom their Base will fall momentarily in love for spouting loud and proud some ugly facet of the turd-crystal that is the Movement Republican Message -- whether Trump, or Huck, or Newt, or Palin, or the Bachmonster, or the Man-on-Dog Sanitarium -- will become in that moment of fervent loving unelectable and the Base will fall instantly out of love with the stink of defeat clinging to their Messenger and go looking for another better truer salesman from whose blood-red Believing lips the sales pitch will actually sell the unsellable they've been sold themselves in their mean manic moronic distress.

As for Romney and Pawlenty and Huntsman, they are none of them remotely gangster enough to convulse the bullying boot-licking hard-on of the Republican Base id. And even most Independents -- craven thrill-seeking ignoramuses every one tho' they may be -- will vote for an actual Democrat over a phony one just as in the past they always voted for the actual Republican over the phony ones the DNC thrusts onto the showroom floor from time to time (at this point, of course, you have to be a certified loon and/or wear your criminal intentions on your sleeve to qualify as a Real Republican).

Given the economy it should be an easy matter to unseat this incumbent President, but the crazytown sirens have got the GOP in thrall and until they lash themselves to the mast of something like reality they won't right the vessel or ride it to the White House any time soon. Of course, the inertial illusions that the Republicans remain a viable party likely exert sufficient pull to enable them to pull off a Senate majority given the horrendous hand the Democrats hold for 2012, and without the Senate it's not as if the White House or even a House regaveled by Pelosi can do much good anyway.

Obama's prospects are solid, the House is in serious play, but what we must hope for is a Republican candidate so dismal that Obama's coattails can accomplish the miracle of one more Democratic Senate. So far, the Republicans are being rather obliging in all this, but it's a year and a half out, and the punditocrats have not yet started to manufacture their inevitable demoralizing horse race.

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