2 + 2 = 4 or 5? Earth Round Or Flat? Republican Says, None of Your Business!

Asked at a press conference earlier today whether he believes in evolution or in the theory of creationism Republican Governor Chris Christie testily replied: “That’s none of your business."

Governor Christie, as no doubt you know already given his incredibly high profile for whatever reason in national media, is the lumbering panda-eyed ignoramus whose radioactive charisma, as it were, has driven GOP activists not to mention vapid pundits across the nation (everywhere indeed but in New Jersey itself) into ecstasies of speculation about how his entry into the 2010 Presidential race would set the world on fire and provide no end of trouble for that whisperBlack Man/whisper in our White House. Indeed, not since napping re-animated corpse Fred Thompson's entry into the last Presidential race have we witnessed such premonitory ecstasies from pundits, and we all know how right their tingling body parts slash intuitions proved that time around.

One suspects the reason some concerned citizens might have made the terrible error of mistaking Christie's opinion on the question of the factual status of evolution versus creationism as in some sense "their business" was because last week at a town hall meeting in Manalapan, Christie declared that the decision to teach creationism in public schools should be made at the local level, a position he reiterated today as well.

“Evolution is required teaching,” Christie said. “If there’s a certain school district that also wants to teach creationism, that’s not something we should decide in Trenton.”

Christie mumbled incoherently about how his position is not in any way an endorsement of creationism vis-a-vis evolutionary biology, but rather an endorsement of making decisions about curriculum outside the common core standards at the local level. Ponder for a moment what would have happened if the GOP Governor had declared comparably that teaching 2 + 2 = 4 or 5 in mathematics classes or teaching the Earth is round or flat in geography classes was a decision to be made at the local level without meddling from Big Bad Gu'ment.

I can see the Teatard banners now: Fight Muslim Arithmetic! No More Addition Only Substraction! We Want Social Division Not Long Division!