Today's Fool Me Tee Vee

Using an android phone is just like being sucked into a virtual world and you are flying on a exhilarating adrenaline wave through space and exploding space stations and insectivorous robot swarms and models in cat suits and oiled athletes and they are all brushing white hot against your skin while dance beats throbs and guitars wail and you are those space stations, you are those robots, you are those models, you are those muscles, you are those explosions, you are those guitars, except you are really checking your work e-mail on a postage stamp screen because you're on a cellphone and it's not anything like any of that at all you moron.