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Saturday, April 16, 2011

"I Know You Are But What Am I": A Survey of the Fantastically Rich, Subtle, Original, Powerful Rhetorical Arsenal of Today's Republican Party

If you notice Republican proposals make no sense you're unserious!

If you notice Republicans are advocating the dismantlement of civilization you're uncivil!

If you notice Republicans are indifferent to the suffering caused by their policies you're insensitive!

If you notice Republicans ignore consensus science you're advocating junk science!

If you notice Republican racism you're a racist!

If you notice Republicans are weirdly obsessed with gay people it's because of your gay agenda!

If you notice Republicans are indifferent to issues of child health, safety, and education it's because you're a baby killer!

If you notice Republican cruelty you're mean!

If you notice Republican warmongering harms the country you're unpatriotic!

If you notice Republicans celebrate avoidable violence it's because you hate freedom!

If you notice Republicans attack civil liberties it's because you want to be a jackbooted thug!

If you notice Republican hostility to diversity it's because you don't know the Real America!

If you notice Republican policies harm the overwhelming majority of the American people you aren't listening to the American people!

If you notice Republicans lard the richest of the rich with power and privilege at everybody else's expense you're engaging in class warfare!

If you notice Republicans serve the heavy hand of plutocracy it's because you don't understand the invisible hand of free markets!

If you notice Republicans want to eliminate the taxes on which indispensable public services depend it's because you don't understand that there's no such thing as a free lunch!

If you notice Republicans keep winning policy debates on mainstream media outlets by simply declaring "I know you are but what am I?" every time anybody makes a salient criticism of them it's the work of that liberal lamestream media!

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